Thoughts on Valentine's Day

Two people holding hands

Traditionally Valentine’s Day is one of the few occasions (if not the only occasion, aside from February 29th in a Leap Year) when a woman can ask a man to marry them. This is, of course, assuming you’re a heterosexual couple to whom tradition is important.

For some men, knowing this might create some confusion and anxiety. And even if the lady in their life doesn’t know of this opportunity, or they’re nowhere near this stage in their relationship, there is still plenty for men to get stressed about on Valentine’s Day.

  • Is a card on its own appropriate?
  • Or should I give bouquet of flowers?
  • Should those flowers be roses, and if so, how many?
  • What about chocolates?
  • Is she expecting a more expensive, “special” gift as well?
  • Have I chosen the right place for dinner?
  • Would it be better to stay home and have a ‘hygge’ evening?

The permutations are endless, and in this flurry of commercially-driven expectation some key thoughts pertinent to today are often overlooked.

I have had my fair mix of relationships during my life, including a 27-year marriage. As a meditator, I have come to truly understand that there are three factors to recognise and work on when it comes to relationships… and they have nothing to do with “getting it right” on Valentine’s Day.

It’s all about the TLC

A relationship is made up of three elements: you, your partner, and the relationship itself. Each need continuous attention in order for any relationship to thrive.

My parents were married for 62 years, and when I asked my father what he considered to be the key he replied it was TLC. But he wasn’t talking about the usual meaning of the acronym. He went on to explain he meant: Tolerance, Laughter, and Communication. I thought that was just beautiful.

Meditation is a wonderful gift to give to ourselves, and those we are closest to. It guides us back to our essential selves, and then gives us the opportunity to engage with life in its fullest expression.

Twice a day, we take these moments to disengage from life and let our mind and body rest deeply. We allow nature to do its thing. There is no agenda, all there is to do is surrender to what will naturally occur and observe our thoughts as they arise.

Vedic Meditation teaches us to differentiate between all the fluff and noise out there, and what is essential to our mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. That includes separating the commercial pressures of Valentine’s Day out from what’s essential to our relationships.

Presents, cards, and meals out, are all lovely things to gift to one another today. But they are essentially ‘fluff and noise’ which have come to surround, and often obscure, the fundamentals of what it means to be in a relationship with someone; to be in a partnership that’s built on the pillars of Tolerance, Laughter, and Communication.

Clearer thinking and carefully-chosen speech are just two benefits which come from a regular meditation practice. With these abilities, understanding the essence of things – including our relationships – becomes easier. As does knowing the value of not saying anything, and simply being present to and accepting of those we love.

To find out about all that Vedic Meditation has to offer, and how I teach it here at MindMojo, join me for a free, no-obligation Introductory Talk in London or Brighton. Book your place online here.

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Anthony Thompson